Shining

When I was growing up I really didn't get a good idea about what sin actually was. I didn't see drinking or domestic violence. I didn't hear profanity or watch people hurt each other on purpose. I was sort of immune to it. I couldn't imagine that kind of life.

One day that all changed. One day I realized that sin even in my loving family was possible. My father had an affair and everything turned upside down. Now I was the family who was touched by sin. We were ridiculed, tested, abandoned, and ignored. Every pastor we reached out to in a way to console our shaken world slouched back unable to help. I felt like they looked at us as a problem. Kids from a divorced family. What kind of issues do they have? Well it's not going to be MY problem. Look, I already have a church full of problem people. My heart sank as I realized that even after all the years of being that pastors best friend, doing ministry alongside their kids, attending their Bible studies... That now, I was in fact different from them. An isolation crept in and I started to believe the lies that I was garbage now because of my father's sin. I remember feeling so close to the down trodden. Those locked away, abandoned, unloved and disrespected. All because of "my" apparent sin or connection to it. I must have had a wrong way of thinking, something unBiblical must be going on in my home for this to happen and on and on the mental clatter went.

So I set out on my own personal mission. I wanted to find those hurting, unlovable, discredited people in my path and show them the light and love of Jesus. I realized that I wasn't there to show them the right way, or to explain discipline and obedience or even given them the salvation story. I just wanted them to know that there was no such thing as a nobody to me OR to God. That yes, they can have tattoos, be strippers in gentalmen's clubs, reek of profanity and drink like a fish but I was going to show them their worth and value through a God that spent years honing mine in me.

It wasn't long before the hardness disappeared, the profanity became less frequent and those late night drinking binges became more of a chore then an escape. They would ask me puzzled why they were changing. Why could they, someone who has always been a certain way change. At first they blamed their age. I'm just getting to old for this junk. Then they'd blame their significant other. I guess it's not so ladylike when I swear like a sailor. Or they'd blame their kids. Well, I'd be just sick if I heard that come out of their mouths. I've got to change. Some of them would even blame me. it's because of YOU I'm not doing any of these things. Whoa! 

Each of us carry in us the spirit of God. We each were born with a right and wrong receptor. That's God. After a while when we ignore that inner voice we ignore God and our relationship with Him begins to fade and so does our message. That doesn't mean we can't get it back, but we just have to work harder at it. 

See it wasn't me they had to blame for their change. Change was already inevitable in their hearts because God had a plan for them. Instead of ignoring their changes I encouraged them to explore their hearts on the matter and ask God what was happening. They'd look at me astonished. "I can't talk to GOD! What are you crazy? I haven't talked to God since I was in Sunday school. I'm too far gone to talk to God. He wont answer me anyway?" They always left that sentence with a question. They wanted to hear from Him. Everything else didn't work. The boos, the drugs, the sex, the work, the palm readers. 

Try it I said. What do you have to lose? "But HOW?" Talk to Him like you are talking to me right now. He hears you. He knows you. He wants to talk to you. "He KNOWS me?" Sure He does!! "Then He's not going to like me." Says who? Thats the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Just talk to Him. Ask Him a question. Tell Him about your hurt. Then just wait. You'll hear Him. Then I'd walk away. 

It's amazing what happens when people start to hear God's voice. A lightness comes all over them. A skip in their step removes the pessimism of the pressure from their peers, joy fills the sorrow. Holes became whole. I don't have to pin point the ugly in their life. The sin. The inconsistencies. God does all of that. And you can see Him working. 

See. Sometimes me make bringing people to God so laborous. We forget that if we just get out of the way of ourselves He can do all the work and take all the glory. That's what you want isn't it?

Remember. He loved you at your darkest. Romans 5:8. The greatest gift you could possibly receive is unconditional love. The greatest gift you could give is unconditional love. Show Jesus' love today. You might be surprised by what happens.

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